Lindsay Lohan paid tribute to her lover Samantha Ronson in New York by wearing a T-shirt decorated with a silhouette of a woman that looked just like Sam, complete with trilby hat and cigarette; it was topped with the French term for love – ‘j’adore’.    According to sources close to the Hollywood dating scene, “Lance Armstrong was obviously thinking along the same lines.  He paid tribute to his new girlfriend Kate Hudson by going out alone to a Beverly Hills nightclub wearing a t-shirt that said, ‘I’m not a gynecologist but I’ll take a look.’”  

This Is London

Dina Lohan is making a point of being supportive about her daughter Lindsay’s lesbian relationship with Samanatha Ronson, telling people how cute the pair looked.   According to a source close to the family, Dina’s happiness is real.   “If Lindsay kept sleeping around with guys,” said the source, “it was just a matter of time until she got knocked up.    At least this way, Dina won’t be driving a bunch of grandkids to rehab in 15 years.  Dina taught Lindsay that the best birth control is a girl’s tongue – this isn’t exactly what she was talking about, but it’s working.” 

NY Daily News

Celebrities usually hate appearing in an outfit that’s been worn before. But as part of a campaign to encourage people to swap their unwanted clothing, Lindsay Lohan was photographed in several second hand outfits.  A good cause, a nice idea, but what is it with Lindsay Lohan that even when she does a charity thing she dresses up like a porn actress?  Wasn’t it like two years ago she was a respected young actress, with a dimply smile and an ingénue twinkle in her eye?   Usually child stars have a few years of anonymity where they do regional theater and get a real estate license and find religion and have a couple divorces before they start pushing 40 and then they strip down in hopes of revitalizing their careers — either do a Playboy spread or start painting pictures with their ass like Farrah Fawcett.  (Remember that?!)   Although in a way doing this at age 21 is a smart move — at least this way Lindsay doesn’t have to get a bunch of expensive plastic surgery to cheapen herself. 

thisislondon

It gets boring describing the dates of male celebs: Beautiful.  Gorgeous.  Slinky.  Shapely.  Yawn.  But fortunately…

…the recent wave of lesbian celebrities have gal pals who are allowing us to deploy some less threadbare adjectives:  Unembellished.  Down-to-earth.  Robust.   Sturdy.  Well-nourished.   Stalwart.   Hardy.   Strapping.  Burly.  Brawny.  Beefy.   Loggerly.   And in Samantha Ronson’s case:  Exsanguinated.   Ropy.   Cadaverous.  Corpselike. 

Much more fun!  Thank you, lesbians!

Actress / singer / temporary lesbian Lindsay Lohan is looking to add something else to her resume — she wants to launch her own perfume.  The 21-year-old reveals she’s been toying with the idea for some time, but insists the fragrance is still in its early stages.   That’s weird – according to sources close to Lindsay, she already has a fragrance…

showbiz spy

Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael says his daughter’s lesbian relationship with Samantha Ronson is perfectly obvious, and it doesn’t bother him.    Why should it, really?   At least this way she won’t get knocked up in a Sturgis free-for-all or by one of his prison buddies; in fact the fathers of Britney and Paris and Peaches Geldof should be so lucky as to have their daughters go Lesbyterian until they hit 30 or they wrestle their blood alcohol content below .10, whichever comes first.   Slow the flow of celebutard juniors into the world, save a few divorces – this could be a great thing…  

Daily News

Lindsay Lohan and her friend Samantha Ronson, an out of the closet lesbian, looked like sweethearts in Cannes, nuzzling each other’s necks and enjoying all manner of Sapphic canoodlings while attending a party on Sean “Diddy” Combs’ yacht.   A Hollywood source expressed positive feelings about Lohan’s involvement.  “If she’s going to have sex, it’s only a matter of time until she does it in front of a camcorder or a cell phone camera,” said the source.  “Hopefully this will answer Hollywood’s chronic drought of celebrity gay sex tapes.”  

NY Post

Dina Lohan has some disappointing news. Her daughter Lindsay won’t be appearing on “Living Lohan,” the upcoming reality show in which Dina attempts to jump-start the career of Lindsay’s younger sister, Ali. The reason, Dina says, is that she feels it would cheapen Lindsay and be a step backward for her career.  

Dina, forget a reality show, it’s time for a reality check – after a year of rehabs, Razzies, wrecked cars, and refusals by other actors to work with her, the only thing that would be a step backward for Lindsay is a snuff film… and then only if the production values were shoddy and there were children involved.  

New York 

A website has been created to advertise sponsorship opportunities for Lindsay Lohan’s 22nd birthday party. According to the site, the party will be a “unique branding opportunity” for companies looking to get in good with Lindsay’s demographic.  Oh boy, line up the blue chip companies on this one – I’m thinking Smirnoff’s and some kind of ointment that keeps genital warts from itching. 

dizmajiz.com

A Columbia co-ed whose $11,000 blond mink coat disappeared while she was at a party has found it – when she was flipping through OK! Magazine, she saw a photo of Lindsay Lohan wearing it!   Realizing Lindsay had been at the same party, the co-ed had her attorney contact Lohan’s lawyer, and the coat was returned the next day.  

Surprisingly, sources close to the actress seemed pleased with the story.  “It’s just good to see Lindsay taking actions toward putting clothes on for a change,” said the source.  “Usually when Lindsay rips off clothes, it’s for a photographer or a guy named Fulvio or Luigi or Roberto or someone with that irresistible combination of a cell phone camera and a penis.”

E! On-line

Lindsay Lohan is back in the papers — a mugshot of the 21-year-old actress, who’s been in and out of rehab after two DUI’s last year, has been used in an ad about devices that measure a driver’s blood alcohol level before their vehicle can start.   A spokesman for the American Beverage Institute said Lohan was chosen because of her high profile DUI’s – definitely a gig she didn’t campaign for.  LiLo was upset, but according to industry insiders, it was actor Haley Joel Osment who was really furious.  According to sources close to Osment, the actor ranted “How can they just take that image of her and put it in that ad?  Like my mug shot was chopped liver?  I get Oscar nominations and she gets Razzies, and I bet they didn’t even consider me.  Who the hell is her publicist?   Who do I have to sleep with to get some f***ing face time in this town?   I need a new manager.”

reuters

Lindsay Lohan is going to go completely naked in a low budget movie about a nymphomaniac because she wants to be known as a “mature actress.”  Producers only wanted Lindsay to go topless during red-hot sex scenes and were stunned when she volunteered to go full frontal.  Yesterday it was announced that Daniel Radcliffe was going to be naked on Broadway — is there a special on naked child stars this week?  Harry Potter and Herbie Fully Loaded both in their birthday suits – please God don’t let this be the beginning of a trend – America really doesn’t want to see Mayim Bialik and Jonathan Lipnicki in a dinner theater production of “Hair.”  

China Daily

We live in a celebrity culture. No doubt about it — if you’re famous, you’re fodder. But we have to have standards. Not every little thing these so-called starlets and celebutantes do is newsworthy. Paris goes to jail? Report it. That MILF from Sex in the City might have a sex tape? Let’s see it.

But now a line has been crossed. Today, the venerable Pink Lady of journalism, People Magazine, published the following story:

“Lindsay Lohan, (was) warming up after getting caught in a wind flurry outside Lisa Kline in Beverly Hills. The actress headed into the boutique, browsed through the dresses – then picked out two sweaters.”

That’s it. That’s the story. Lindsay bought two sweaters. Never mind the fact that People’s erstwhile journa-lames couldn’t even tell us what colors the sweaters were or how much they cost. Could I get at least some flies on my turd?

Somebody please tell me how this shocking development qualifies as a story in a major national magazine. What Columbia journalism grad, slumming it at People, swallowed her dignity and wrote this tripe? Did she volunteer for the sweater beat, hoping that if she proved herself, she’d get a shot at a story about slacks in the fall?

I can’t wait for People’s hard-hitting story about Ashton Kutcher’s sideburns, or their in-depth look at Mary-Kate Olson’s socks, or their exclusive about Roger Clemens’ sweaty jockstrap.

Rant over. Now excuse me while I go read Highlights Magazine so I can get some of my brain cells back.

(And yes, we know LiLo’s not wearing a sweater in the above picture. Would you rather see her with a sweater? Honestly? Didn’t think so.)

People

Lindsay Lohan flew into a wild rage on a commercial shoot in Los Angeles after she found onions in her burrito, shouting “I didn’t f****** order this!” at the craft service table.  A source on the set said: “Everyone was just looking at each other with open mouths. It was a minor thing but she caused such a scene – no one could believe it.”   According to insiders at the catering service, disgruntled food servers are already planning to commemorate her outburst by naming a sandwich after her. “The LiLo” is formulated to honor Lindsay’s most notable traits:  Loose meat, hot tongue, baked fried and toasted, served with crabs, over easy, no onions or Oscars. 

Mirror

Lindsay Lohan’s re-creation of Marilyn Monroe’s photo shoot was such a hit for New York Magazine that Hugh Hefner wants a piece of the action.  Hef is hoping that LiLo will recreate Marilyn Monroe’s famous nude swim from her unfinished final film, “Something’s Got To Give,” for Playboy.   Lohan’s mother Dina is apparently enthusiastic about the pictorial, allegedly saying “Our goal is to completely demystify Lindsay by the end of the year.  In fact, we’re in talks to have Lindsay’s full body scan appear in the New England Journal of Medicine – we’re hoping she’ll be the centerpiece of their first annual ‘Inside Hollywood’s Hottest Summer Bodies’ issue.” 

The National Ledger 

Last time LiLo was in Italy she hooked up with three guys on New Year’s Eve; this time she’s here for Milan Fashion Week.   After the success of her re-creation of a pictorial originally done by actress Marilyn Monroe, Lindsay may go to the Leaning Tower of Pisa to recreate a pictorial originally done by actress Traci Lords. 

celebrity-gossipnet

Astronomers at the Haydn Planetarium, who normally spend their days finding constellations in stars, have dedicated the last two days to finding constellations in Lindsay Lohan’s freckles.  So far they’ve located 600 including the word OBAMAMANIA; the Tampa Bay Buccaneers logo; a Nike swoosh; a profile of Soprano’s star Michael Imperioli; two dodacahedrons; Google Earth outline of Diamond Bar, California; the logo for the Morongo Casino; and (they claim) the words “for a good time call Lindsay at 888 555 0199.” 

The actress was arrested for driving under the influence early Tuesday after an incident involving a car chase.  Lindsay was booked on two misdemeanor charges of suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol and driving on a suspended license and two felony charges of possession of cocaine and transport of a narcotic.  Would someone please help this girl.  Maybe it’s time for her to spend some time in jail.   

ABC News

Lindsay Lohan allegedly amused herself in rehab by wandering around naked to shock male patients and staff.   She recently spent 45 days in Malibu’s Promises Centre to be treated for alcoholism and was reportedly overheard bragging about her nude exploits at Allegra Versace’s birthday party.

“Lindsay was howling with laughter as she told all her friends, including Bruce Willis’ daughter Rumer. They were all giggling too and their eyes were popping out.  Lindsay said, I drove them all mad wandering around completely naked. They kept telling me to quit, but it was so much fun to tease all those boys. I just couldn’t stop it!” 

Stuff

As the saying goes, with friends like these, who needs enemies.  It seems Lindsay has 75 nearest and dearest friends with access to her private MySpace area, including Nicole Richie and her sister Ali.  She used MySpace to stay in touch with friends while being treated at Promises in Malibu.  Apparently one of the back stabbing 75 gave Star Magazine access to “heated” exchanges between Lohan and her openly gay deejay friend Samantha Ronson.  Star Magazine is putting the e mails in the magazine with the heading ”Lindsay’s Lesbian Love Letters”. 

Supposedly, according to this good friend, Lohan wrote Samanatha: “Babe, if I don’t have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you and have children with you.” “Go to bed babe,” she wrote to her pal late one night. “I love you. – [signed] Lindsay Ronson.”   Needless to say, Lindsay needs to get a set of new friends.  She can’t trust any of them.  Another sad story for this talented actress.    

New York Daily News

 Picture from News of the World

These shocking images of the drug crazed actress (who is only 20) was taken just weeks before she was admitted to rehab for the second time.  The pictures show Lindsay holding a knife to a friend’s throat.  I hope someone can help this talented, beautiful girl.   She is now in rehab and trashing her friends.  “Paris Hilton is a coke whore.   Paris thinks she’s above everyone. She’s not. Paris is a stupid cow and deserves what she gets.”  On Nicole Richie: What problems does Nicole have? The girl just needs to eat. Period.”  And so it goes.  Lindsay, stop looking at other people and look at yourself before it is too late. 

 News of the World  

“She grabbed a knife and started cutting at her wrists. A friend made her stop. Lindsay ran into the bathroom” – starpulse.com