College student Natalie Dylan, 22, is selling her virginity online and says there’s just one celebrity she’d want to deflower her: Kim Kardashian. “She’s really beautiful, but … I’m heterosexual. I just admire her beauty,” said Dylan. “This,” said Kardashian’s publicist in a statement, “is why Kim is America’s greatest star. Her ass is so awesome that – not only can she use it to break furniture and hide fugitives — she can use it as a penis. Can we please get her a 3-picture deal at Universal? Whoever makes the selections for the Kennedy Center Honors, I hope you’re listening… ”

Okay, I’ll admit it – my first instinct was to do a “Baby Got Barack” joke.  But I wondered if maybe that was too obvious, if I’d been beaten to the punch.   So I Googled “baby got Barack” – 1670 pages.   I guess I’ll  just forget the joke and let you just enjoy the picture if you like that kind of thing, or be horrified, and let you go to youtube and enjoy someone’s version of Baby Got Barack, which actually doesn’t have anything to do with Kim Kardashian but which you might enjoy anyway. 

Hollywood.com

Reality TV star Kim Kardashian is considering taking out insurance on her voluptuous derriere.  The socialite, who claims to be amazed by the attention her buttocks receive when she’s out in public, says she hasn’t insured it yet, but “I think I should look into that.”   Insured???  Her butt???  Will it suffer structural damage in a earthquake or be scorched in a wildfire?  Somehow fall prey to global warming?   Burst like a levee, forcing thousands of displaced families to live in FEMA trailers?   Be stolen for meat by poachers?    Will her dates have to sign a Collision Damage Waiver before riding around in it for the weekend?  Will overexposure and high mileage weaken it so it’ll only be held together with a flimsy skin of Bondo and duct tape?  Insurers beware – a dumper with that kind of payload will depreciate faster than a Humvee in Fallujah – it’ll probably be dragging sparks before the ink on your contract is dry.  

monsters and critics