According to a new report, Hugh Hefner is complaining that he has a bad back, and he blames it on too much sex: “Too much time in bed rustling around with friends,” were his exact words.  Oddly, when you compare him to most 82 year olds — who’ve wrecked their spines building canals or taking shrapnel on Iwo Jima – a bad back from nailing centerfolds sounds pretty gay.    Overall though, as Viagra worms its way deeper into the fabric of everyday life, it’s only a matter of time until AARP puts out an orthopedic Kama Sutra showing the vertebrae-friendly positions that a guy in a truss with an aching S-4 can do when he’s in bed with his wife who has a sub-standard hip replacement and calcium-deficient bones. 

Fox

According to an interview in the new GQ, Marston Hefner – Hugh Hefner’s 18 year old son, who spent much of his youth at the Playboy mansion – had what he calls a “fairly normal childhood.”  According to the article, he’s just graduating high school, likes video games, and seems more interested in world events than scoping chicks with Bill Maher. 

Although if you step back, one part of his childhood is anything but normal.  For most boys, the first time they see a Playboy Magazine is a seminal experience, no pun intended.  Someone’s older brother, acting like a power broker, offers you a look at one he shoplifted.  Perhaps it’s the thrilling squalor of finding one that Dad has stashed in his wood shop.   Or the unbelievable serendipity of finding one in the garbage or a vacant lot or the woods.     For young Marston, you’d have to guess that his first Playboy was at a time when it didn’t mean anything, back in his days of children’s books, when the things you read were printed on washable fabric.  Which actually isn’t such a bad idea for Playboy Magazine, come to think of it… you know, in case you spill food on it while you’re reading the articles…

GQ