Anne Heche told a judge last week that since her show Men In Trees was cancelled, she could no longer afford to make her $15,000 a month child support payments to her ex-husband. 

Of course hindsight is 20-20 but now that same-sex weddings are legal in California and it turns out her former lover Ellen DeGeneres is the marrying kind, it looks like Anne should have hung in and waited for a ring.  But I guess if you give away the peanuts, they won’t buy the whole circus. 

Of course if Anne stayed with Ellen she probably would have been injected with a dose of David Crosby’s celebrity semen by now and would have a half-walrus child like Melissa Etheridge (David Crosby being, of course, the de facto spunk source for noted lesbian couples).  Speaking of which, I’d pay to hear Melissa Etheridge give the birds and the bees speech to her kids:  “When two women meet and fall in love and they want to have a child and Meat Loaf won’t return their calls….”

People