Lindsay Lohan’s re-creation of Marilyn Monroe’s photo shoot was such a hit for New York Magazine that Hugh Hefner wants a piece of the action.  Hef is hoping that LiLo will recreate Marilyn Monroe’s famous nude swim from her unfinished final film, “Something’s Got To Give,” for Playboy.   Lohan’s mother Dina is apparently enthusiastic about the pictorial, allegedly saying “Our goal is to completely demystify Lindsay by the end of the year.  In fact, we’re in talks to have Lindsay’s full body scan appear in the New England Journal of Medicine – we’re hoping she’ll be the centerpiece of their first annual ‘Inside Hollywood’s Hottest Summer Bodies’ issue.” 

The National Ledger 

There are 362 days until the next Academy Awards, but studios and producers are already looking ahead to next January’s nominations.  “So far, ‘Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins’ is one of the funniest and most moving films of the year,” said a Hollywood insider.  “Producers are getting behind it, hoping that nothing else better comes out.”  The insider added that “Witless Protection” is the sentimental favorite for best achievement in sound design, and “The Hottie and the Nottie” is a grassroots frontrunner in makeup for costume design because Paris Hilton had so many cute outfits.  Paul Dabaragabetaragererian, president of box-office tracker Media By Numbers, also asserted that “Jumper”’s #1 finish two weekends ago put it in the running for several awards.

In a move meant to honor the actress’ late mother Marcheline Bertrand, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have bought a chateau in the south of France and will make it their family home.  According to insiders, the decision was also influenced by the fact that Brad and Angelina wanted to further expand their family while being sensitive to environmental issues.  “The European location will make it easier for them to tap into the international baby supply without expanding their carbon footprint,” said a source close to the couple.  “Positioned near the port of Marseilles, they can have palettes of babies shipped from Africa and Asia on tankers and containerships that are already carrying other items, saving jet fuel.  They can have cargo pods trucked in from Eastern Europe and Russia, crammed with children and babies.  With no transatlantic conveyance, it’s really very green.“  

Times Of India

Eccentric pop star Michael Jackson received word Monday from Financial Title Company that unless he pays off over $24 million by March 19, the Neverland Ranch will be auctioned off.  The auction will include the personal property inside, including all fixtures, appliances, and furniture.  According to a source close to Jackson, even the contents of The Gloved One’s private study will be sold, including an entire troop of Boy Scouts preserved in amber, a wax museum containing figures of the Williamsport, Pennsylvania Little League team, a life-size butter toffee sculpture of Jonathan Lipnicki, a “bait box” of fun-size Snickers and Milky Way bars, and a tile-for-tile likeness of the boy’s bathroom at the Hollywood Performing Arts High School. 

Fox News

… Amy Winehouse’s head weighs more than her torso.

Paris Hilton is returning to reality television with a show that will be about her search for a new best friend.  “Paris is tired of the haters,” a source told Usmagazine.com.   “She’s looking for someone new and cool who she can trust.”   A source close to the Hilton family expressed enthusiasm over the decision.  “Thank God that Paris is doing it this way,” said the source.  “Facebook and Craigslist are so antiquated and impersonal – if Paris wants to find a BFF who’ll really warrant the ‘F’s that stand for ‘friend’ and ‘forever,’ there’s no question a reality show is the place to find it.”   Paris is said to be enthusiastic about the project, though she allegedly told producers that if they’re really serious about finding her a worthwhile friend, they should offer the winner a $1 million first prize. 

Us Magazine

Why are agents across Hollywood overjoyed that former exotic dancer Diablo Cody won the Oscar?  It isn’t financial — they’d have probably been happier if someone who wrote $150 million action movies had won.   But from a personal standpoint, many agents find that it’s a dream come true.  As a grinning UTA agent who’s married with three kids said in a voice mocking a world-weary husband, “Really honey, I only spent the night at Spearmint Rhino ’cause I was looking for writers with Academy Award potential.  I had back-to-back lap-dances trying to find the perfect person to do a draft on the new Batman script – no luck yet, but hopefully tomorrow…” 

With no Mr. Right in sight and her biological clock ticking away, Jennifer Aniston has decided to take some precautionary measures and freeze her eggs.   Aniston apparently paid extra to have them stashed at an undisclosed location after hearing reports that Ted Williams’ frozen head often develops late-night cravings for omelets and goes from freezer to freezer, eating his way through entire bins of donated ova.   According to an anonymous technician at the lab where Williams’ head is kept, the situation is complicated by the fact that “Ted’s head is a huge ‘Friends’ fan, and it’s made no secret of its desire to eat Jen’s eggs.  We turn our back on that head for just a minute and we’ll find it in a freezer, munching away on something, tissue samples or whatever.  She had to put them in a secure place, just ’cause Ted Williams head loves eggs so damn much.”

entertainment.oneindia

Zoey 101 star Jamie Lynn Spears has passed her high school equivalency exam, scoring particularly well on reading comprehension.   Jamie Lynn had to take the test because most of her education had been provided by tutors on the sets of her TV shows.  According to a Nickelodeon insider, the tutors are very rigorous with certain subjects like History and Science, but entrust topics like sex ed to the parents to ensure that child actors are given the kind of clear-eyed guidance that will prevent them from making the kind of mistakes a – oh never mind.

SFGate

Jimmy Kimmel has answered girlfriend Sarah Silverman’s “I’m F*cking Matt Damon” video by airing one of his own called “I’m F*cking Ben Affleck.”   In an effort to not be left out of the late night fun, sources say that Conan O’Brien is planning to appear in a music video entitled “I’m F*cking Annoying.” 

 E! Online

A psych professor and two of his students have reported they found characteristics of addiction in at least 10% of the 4,000 Harry Potter fans they polled online. “There’s a community that you get with Harry Potter that you don’t even get with heroin,” said Dr. Jeffrey Rudski.  Worse still – heroin, coke and crystal meth users have joined forces to ban the Harry Potter addicts from rehabs because “they make the 12 step meetings so freaking insufferable.“

andPOP.com

For the first time in nearly two months, Britney Spears was allowed face to face contact with sons Sean Preston and Jayden James during a court monitored visit over the weekend.  During their time together Britney hugged her sons, played games with them, and hopefully did not accidentally show them her vagina.

E! online

On the first episode of the new season of “America’s Next Top Model,” runway hopeful Claire told host Tyra Banks and the judging panel that she’s a new mom and is drinking her own breast milk to keep her milk production going. “I’m actually drinking it. It tastes kinda like soy milk,” said the model.   Nothing glitzes up a jaunt down the catwalk like a milk leak in a Versace gown. 

thecelebritytruth.com 

Is that Zac Efron kissing a guy?   Looks like it, but let’s not jump to any conclusions – he could just be preparing to audition for Disney’s upcoming “Fashion School Musical.“

gabbybabble.com

According to a source close to Paris Hilton, the hotel heiress was devastated after being told she couldn’t attend the prestigious event on Sunday night.  “She’s desperate to be taken seriously as an actress and hoped she would be able to network with film executives,” claimed the insider.   When questioned as to why Paris had been banned, a spokesman for the Oscar committee refused to answer, but implied that “the closest she’ll ever get to the Oscars is if she has sex with the fire marshal.” 

news24.com

After flopping in the U.S. with a total of $1771 dollars in its opening weekend, Jessica Simpson’s movie Blonde Ambition has become the #1 blockbuster in the Eastern European nation of the Ukraine, packing theaters around the country.  Anthropologists at Taras Shevchenko Kyiv University in the capitol city of Kiev supposedly blamed the after-effects of Chernobyl for the actress’s popularity. 

starpulse.com

After being bitten by a snake recently, 4-year-old Robert Irwin said, “‘I hope it wasn’t venomous.”   The youngster was unharmed, but it makes you think –  Terri, don’t you think maybe it’s time to just get a puppy or a goldfish?  

wftv.com

Last time LiLo was in Italy she hooked up with three guys on New Year’s Eve; this time she’s here for Milan Fashion Week.   After the success of her re-creation of a pictorial originally done by actress Marilyn Monroe, Lindsay may go to the Leaning Tower of Pisa to recreate a pictorial originally done by actress Traci Lords. 

celebrity-gossipnet

In an obvious snub of Heather Mills, Paul McCartney performed the song “Live And Let Die” and dedicated his lifetime achievement award at the Brit Awards last night to the woman who inspired the song, his first wife Linda. Meanwhile, according to music industry sources, Heather spent the evening Ferrari-shopping with royalties from the song. 

Siegfried Fischbacher and Roy Horn plan to make a one-night-only comeback next February, performing their signature show at a fundraiser more than five years after a tiger attack ended their long-running production on the Las Vegas Strip. According to sources close to the performers, Roy was reluctant to get back on stage until he could find a lioness that he was sure couldn’t open her jaws.

After being booked for drug possession in Nevada, the collagen-graduate pimpstress didn’t seem worried about the arrest, but expressed embarrassment about her passenger, who was arrested for marijuana.     “I can’t believe I got pulled over with a [bleep]ing plumber of all people,” she told a friend.  Actually they sound like a perfect match – someone who’s used to spending their days with human waste should be comfortable with Heidi Ho. 

NY Post

Following the successful screen adaptation of the Hasbro property “Transformers,” Universal Pictures has announced a partnership with Hasbro to produce movies based on their toys and games.  The properties include longtime family favorites like “Monopoly,” “Candy Land,” and “Clue.”

In a related story, Will Ferrell has signed to do movies on horseshoes, badminton, double dutch, hopscotch, jacks, pitching pennies, Jenga, and flashlight tag.

Variety

Just over a month after giving birth to her first child, Christina Aguilera showed up on The Ellen DeGeneres Show today to chat with the host about motherhood.  After seeing her guest’s dress, a visibly intrigued Ellen asked her guest, “One question: Are you nursing?” Christina laughed along with the studio audience, gestured to her chest and said, “I guess it’s a little obvious.”  If Ellen wept over that dog adoption, you can bet she’d cry over spilled milk in this case. 

 NY Post

And we thought the old Mouseketeer was retired.  Note to celebrities:  yes, tabloids pay millions for photos of your babies, but we’re sick of seeing where they come from.    

Astronomers at the Haydn Planetarium, who normally spend their days finding constellations in stars, have dedicated the last two days to finding constellations in Lindsay Lohan’s freckles.  So far they’ve located 600 including the word OBAMAMANIA; the Tampa Bay Buccaneers logo; a Nike swoosh; a profile of Soprano’s star Michael Imperioli; two dodacahedrons; Google Earth outline of Diamond Bar, California; the logo for the Morongo Casino; and (they claim) the words “for a good time call Lindsay at 888 555 0199.” 

As Paris Hilton’s birthday celebration entered its fourth grueling month in Las Vegas this weekend, concerned federal agencies considered stepping in to curtail the expanding swath of environmental destruction.  Authorities tallied the damage wreaked by the gala, which has no apparent end in sight:  

·         The celebration has spanned 22 states and 37 cities, nearly as many as the presidential candidates.  Private jets, limousines, and automobiles have traveled an estimated 110,000 miles, pouring 38 tons of cardon dioxide into the atmosphere; paparazzi and publicists tracking Paris have traveled an estimated 700,000 miles, creating 231 tons of CO2.

·         Five distilleries have been working full-time to produce enough vodka for Paris and her entourage, belching 20 tons of CO2 into the atmosphere.   Additionally, smoke from candles on hundreds of birthday cakes have added another 3200 pounds of carbon dioxide into the ozone.  

·         Since the celebration began, Paris has worn 157 different outfits, costing the lives of hundreds of cattle and tens of thousands of silkworms; manufacture and delivery of the clothing has burned a staggering 3000 gallons of diesel fuel, and laundry another 600.  

·         55,000 gallons of fuel oil have been burned to make the plastic for water bottles consumed by Paris, her entourage, and the pursuing press, and 1400 more gallons to make the latex to provide Paris with condoms and rubber underwear for after-parties. 

According to experts, if Paris Hilton wanted to carbon neutralize her birthday celebration, she’d have to plant enough trees to fill the Willamette National Forest, which stretches for 110 miles along the western slopes of the Cascade Range in western Oregon. 

Daily Mail

According to a report in Ad Age, Jennifer Lopez and her husband Marc Anthony will be paid between $4 million and $6 million from People Magazine for exclusive rights to the first photos of their expected twins.   Christina Aguilera has supposedly been also paid $2 million for photos of her baby.   Okay, people, get a grip.  There are 350,000 babies born every day, and unless you’re the parent, they’re basically interchangeable.  Babies scream on planes, they hog the world’s supply of mashed lima beans, and they grow up and take jobs from Americans.  When people read People, they want to learn about celebrities, not about the bawling little monsters that are going to demoralize the celebrity’s breasts and change her from a booty-shaking hotcake into a homebody.  Plus, once a celebrity has a baby, all she’ll talk about is how much more important the baby is than her career, and to people who love celebrities, that can be very insulting.  When it comes to celebrity babies, they should be not seen and not heard.    

National Ledger

Naomi Campbell has sparked rumors that she’s engaged to her Brazilian businessman boyfriend, Marcus Elias, after she was seen flashing a giant diamond ring he bought her.  A warning, Mr. Elias – the bigger that ring is, the more it’s gonna hurt when she chucks it at you.  Maybe growing up in a country obsessed with soccer you never learned about throwing, but take it from Naomi’s assistant — Naomi has a hell of an arm to go with those legs.  

Eurweb

After three years of service, Kirstie Alley is leaving as the spokeswoman of weight loss empire Jenny Craig.  A Jenny Craig executive said Queen Latifah and Valerie Bertinelli would now function as the spokeswomen for the company and though Kirstie would no longer appear in the advertising, they would keep her on as a billboard.  

 OK Magazine

“I’m going to buy enough legs to become a giant millipede, then I’m going to crawl into Paul’s house and eat his flour and the bindings on his books and his Cadbury bars!  And when he gets up to pee in the night — which he does because he’s old and weak — I’ll be in the bathtub and he’ll see me out of the corner of his eye and he’ll be terrified!  He’ll try to swat me with a magazine but my legs will be made of super-hard acrylic polymer and I’ll wave them at him all at once like those tentacles that hang down in a carwash.   Once I’ve beaten him to a bloody pulp I’ll escape out the window and go to America where everyone will be nice to me and Yoko and I will be best friends and I’ll have a new line of perfume.”  

accesshollywood.com

According to a story in the NY Post, actress Natalie Portman kept a crowd of press and well-wishers waiting for 45 minutes last week at the launch of her new vegan shoe line at the Te Casan Store in SoHo; when she finally appeared, she gave 15 minutes of interviews before vanishing again.  When the Cold Mountain ice queen returned, it was for the last five minutes of the party.   For those who were curious, “Te Casan” is Spanish for “but you worms will still buy my shoes, because I’m a celebrity.” 

NY Post

Last week it was Charlize Theron.   Now it’s Section 8 menace-dispenser Christopher Walken who’s gone to Harvard to hob-nob with Hasty Pudding.  Walken’s portrayals of creepy fruitcakes have been second to none; viewers have goose pimples on their necks and smiles on their faces at the same time. To see him cavorting with a college theater troupe looking like a badly aging Peg Bundy doesn’t bode well – what’s next, a “Grumpy Old Men” remake with Jack Nicholson??? 

stuff.co.nz

After bringing a camera crew from Entertainment Tonight to accompany him and his baby daughter to Anna Nicole Smith’s gravesite, Larry Birkhead wants to the world to know that his intentions are good.  “Larry’s looking for a way to prove he’s not the bad guy or the dishonest guy,” said one source close to Birkhead. “Any opportunity that comes along that allows him to show publicly that he’s doing the right things for Dannielynn, he does it.”   To prove his fatherhood skills, Birkhead outlined his 5-point Rules For Being A Good Dad: 

1. Play it safe — never store snail poison in baby bottles or Gerber’s jars. 
2. When you go away for the weekend, try not to leave the baby alone in a full bathtub.  
3. The baby in the papoose is good for shopping, but not when you’re surfing, skateboarding, or ultimate fighting. 
4. No matter how much the baby enjoys it, don’t do “Puppetry Of The Penis” at her birthday party.  
5.  Don’t share your makeup with the baby until you’re sure she’s not allergic. 

msnbc.com

CELEBRITY QUOTE:   JACK NICHOLSON ON WHETHER HE SEES HIMSELF AS SEXY:  “It’s very hard to think of yourself in those terms. I see myself in the mirror every morning, and I’m looking the Devil right in the face. I don’t relate to what’s said about me – how famous I’m supposed to be, how much of a sex symbol I’m supposed to be – and I don’t think I could function, really, if I started to believe all that stuff.” 

READER QUOTE:  VIC LAMONT OF SIOUX FALLS, S.D. AFTER SEEING NICHOLSON’S QUOTE:    “Damn, I’m glad I’m not a celebrity. That poor bastard probably had some scruffy weasel hanging around for hours asking questions trying to find “Jack’s core,” and Jack was probably completely irritated but his manager said ‘Jack you’ve gotta talk to the guy or he’ll say “with age, Nicholson has grown more distant,” so Jack said all right all right I’ll talk, so he started just saying anything, like when you’re driving your mother-in-law to the airport and you’ll say anything just to fill the awkward silence and it’s all stuff you cringe when you hear yourself say it, but who cares because your mother in law is half-deaf and she’ll be dead in a couple years, but poor Jack has this guy standing there with a tape recorder and now that lame quote is all over the news. Poor bastard.”   

contactmusic.com

We all love seeing the “real” celebrity without the makeup,  the expensive dress, the  jewels on loan  and hair (is that really their own) done perfectly.   These are pictures where the illusion is totally stripped away.  See how they look on an ordinary day in never ever land otherwise known as Hollywood.  Some celebrities still look good without all the trappings  (Jennifer Hudson) while others are downright scary (Barbra Streisand, Maria Shriver). What’s your favorite?

Top Socialite

The comedienne admits she had a secret affair with a member of boy band ‘N Sync during their 1990s heyday. The flame haired funnywoman made her confession during a one woman show in New York  She just can’t remember which guy it was or even if that was the right band.  Hard to believe she can’t see a difference between Justin Timberlake, J.C. Chasez, Chris Kirkpatrick, Joey Fatone and the openly gay Lance Bass.  But, hey, maybe its true - all guys are the same in the dark.  

 Her representative supposedly said,  “I can’t possibly keep up with all the boy banders has Kathy has slept with.”

Starpulse

A message from Johnny Knoxville on his blog: “Just got back from Oklahoma where I was shooting Mat Hoffman’s tribute to Evel Knievel. Had a ball, too, even though I almost lost my own balls in the process. Don’t want to give too much away because the tribute airs Feb 23rd on MTV, but let’s just say before letting Travis Pastrana teach me how to do a backflip on a motorcycle I should have had him teach me to ride one first. Heh-heh…bad for me, good for our viewing audience at home. Have to go now. Have to empty the piss bag on my leg that I have to wear for the next two weeks until my torn urethra heals. Ouch”

Jackass World.com

From Dear Old Blighty comes word of increased tension between Paul McCartney and the jitterbugging phlebotomist.  The latest squabble is over their daughter’s schooling; the former Beatle is determined that four-year-old Beatrice should not be educated privately when she starts in the autumn.  Presumably Heather is concerned that if the child is exposed to the lower classes, she could meet a scheming venal whore who’d try to milk her for her money and fame.  

 Daily Mail

In Hollywood, Paramount announced it’s pushing back the release of the new Star Trek movie from December 25, 2008 to May 8, 2009, saying the film has greater potential as a summer tentpole.   And across America, a legion of trouser tentpoles targeted for Christmas release wilted at the excruciating prospect of 134 additional days of Spocklessness.   

 Entertainment Weekly

What happened, Beckham – you felt left out because you didn’t have as many gay fans as Cher?   Or is it that you didn’t have as many gay fans as your tightie-whitie loving new BFF Tom Cruise?   With these Armani ads you will now – the crowd at that soccer stadium will look like an assembly at the Fashion Institute, with lavender fans feverishly Bending It To Beckham in every bathroom stall. 

According to sources close to Britney Spears’ family, “She needs to rein herself in. She needs to take a break from the limelight – from showbiz – and just concentrate on getting herself better, and being with her family.”   Her family is expected to announce this week that Britney’s private healing process will be the subject of an upcoming reality TV show on the E! network.

Mirror

DreamWorks is set to open their Broadway version of Shrek in October, but they’re having trouble finding actors who can fill the shoes of Mike Myers & Eddie Murphy.  “It’s a question of chemistry,” said one exec. “It’s hard to find the perfect pair.”  Not to do your job for you, O Casting Department, but if you want to see a show where an ogre and a donkey have great chemistry, head to Tijuana.  

N.Y. Post

Angelina Jolie won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in 1999, but a new report says that the trophy has gone missing.    According to sources close to Jolie, the actress said she “can’t quite remember – I may have traded it for Maddox.  If we really need it we could look for it in Kuala Lumpur, or wherever that one came from.”   

Times of India

Malibu police have arrested Paris Hilton’s 18 year-old brother, Barron, for driving his black Mercedes with a blood alcohol level of .14, putting him in line for a yearlong suspension.  Hilton lost control as he was turning into a gas station, clipping the manager and ramming into a fuel pump.  You know what, dude? Your last name is Hilton – if you’re too drunk to drive, GET A ROOM!   

 N.Y. Post

The man with whom Heather Mills had a six month affair while she was dating Paul McCartney has revealed that the amputee had an unusual erogenous zone – her leg stump.  According to her ex-boyfriend, film editor Tim Steele, “she used to massage one particular area and it gave her an orgasm.”   So after all this time and controversy and research, it turns out a woman’s G-spot is located below the knee behind the shin-bone, in an area only reachable by amputating her leg.   Damn.

After divorcing rocker Chris Robinson in October, actress Kate Hudson insists she’s not looking for love again yet, but enjoys motherhood so much that she’s already thinking about having more babies, even if she has to be a single mother.   It’s a safe bet that by the time they’d finished reading the previous sentence, at least one NBC executive had sprinted into his boss’s office to pitch “Who Wants To Knock Up Kate Hudson?”  

David Beckham caused a stir at a Grammy party when he gave an adoring female fan a kiss on the cheek, and she literally went weak in the knees and fainted.   According to onlookers at the Hollywood do, Beckham was unfazed by the fan’s reaction, and just said “Get her some water.  She’ll be okay.”  Of course Beckham is no stranger to the power of his lips– other women who he’s kissed have had their faces turn into masses of immoveable  plastic.   

People

“Find out what it means to me, Gimme just about three feet, S-A-U-S-A-G-E.”    Aretha Franklin was honored as the 2008 MusiCares Person of the Year on Sunday, but she should have won a “Crammy” for stuffing 300 pounds of Grammy winning soul into a 275 pound velvet casing.   

Charlize Theron, how could you? When you gained 50 pounds and rubbed fudge on your teeth so you could play a murderous crack whore it wasn’t half the woodywilter that it was to hear you’d gone to Boston to be honored by Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Theatrical Society.
First, let’s talk about Hasty Pudding — what’s the deal with that name? All the other gay desserts from the era of Scarlet Fever were taken?
The media’s fixation on Hasty Pudding selecting its “woman of the year” has long been a source of mystification to all non-Harvard grads, and the fact that a college theater club has somehow, in the last five years, cajoled Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johannson, Halle Berry, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Sandra Bullock to come to their campus and be honored is a boundless source of jealousy and resentment. Note to Jessica Biel or Eva Longoria or whoever they approach next year: it’s time to make a difference. Ignore that Harvard letterhead. Instead of pandering to a bunch of guys who’ve always been at the top of their class and who have parents wealthy enough to afford 40K tuition and who are destined to make millions, ham it up with someone who’ll really appreciate you, like the theater department of Pima County Junior College. Those guys will never forget you. The problem America is trying to solve in this election year is the gulf between the haves and the have-nots, and this would be an excellent first step.

Authorities say Angelina Jolie returned from Baghdad empty-handed last week after learning how unaffordable Iraqi orphans are with the weak U.S. dollar. Sources close to the actress said with Hollywood at a virtual standstill because of the writer’s strike Jolie has been forced to scale back on her collecting and was considering acquiring new babies via e-Bay, craigslist, and even her own uterus. Orphans around the world expressed optimism that the writers would ratify their contract so “that pretty lady with the fleshy lips can take me to live with Maddox.”
 

MSNBC 

The Patriots may not have brought home the Lombardi Trophy, but Bostonians got a statuesque consolation prize when they were treated to a wardrobe malfunction reminiscent of the year they DID win the Super Bowl. One thing though – you’d think “The Hottie And The Nottie” would have done better business with Paris flashing body to promote it. (Video)

The Sun

Dolly Parton says her, affectionately nicknamed “shock” and “awe,” belong to all of mankind.  “They do seem like public property in a way. They served me well – I don’t know if I’m supporting them or they’re supporting me,” says the the country legend, 62.  ”I’ve always had nice ones but of course I’ve had ‘em jacked up a bit. And they’re part of the persona  – it always takes a little pressure off me.”

Page Six

The star of Rambo 4 says  ”I’ve been looking for the next Robert Mitchum or Steve McQueen and they just don’t exist. Tough guys today are getting their hair done at Hollywood hairdressers. Whatever happened to having a beer and scratching your balls?”

“After Vietnam there was a need for escapism. Rambo led to the birth of the real uber action film. I was part of that group with Arnold (Schwarzenegger] and Bruce (Willis] and there was a definite theme. It was about one-man armies.”

“When you come from nothing and you are given everything – money, women, limos – it’s crazy. It was all about me and my work and the excitement and the grandeur. Everything that detracted from me and my fame tended to suffer and wilt in the shade of my own glory.” Fascinating interview.

Scotland on Sunday

McCartney is poised to sign a record divorce settlement: Heather will get a lump sum of $40 million and $5 million a year for the next 14 years – every year until their daughter Beatrice turns 18. The deal: Heather will never be allowed publicly to discuss in detail the reasons behind the breakdown of the 6 year marriage.

 Daily Mail

Call Simon Cowell a heartless critic, a closet case, a shameless self promoter but the star of American Idol is no dummy. The Cowell is a Kool smoking high school drop out mama’s boy with a fondness for strip clubs. Here’s the list:

Radar 

Theater owners across the country reported that 10 PM shows of film Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds were sold out to what one exhibitor described as “creepy middle aged men in trench coats.” Disney credited the key pedophile demographic as a major part of the film’s record breaking $29 million opening. “Usually with family films, it’s difficult to sell tickets to late night shows,” said Disney VP of distribution.  “But when our market research showed that there was 93% awareness of the film amongst pedophiles, we knew we had a great opportunity to reach out.”

Great.  Now, we know where are all the pedophiles are at 10 PM.

Dateline Hollywood

“I’m not Jewish, my husband’s Jewish.  I never really knew a lot of Jewish people growing up either, so I really had no idea about the bris and all the Jewish holidays. It’s all a learning process for me.  It was a very sweet experience – we had a lot of close friends come over and experience the bris with us. We’re such a non-conventional couple, we had a lot of penis balloons everywhere.”  (video)

The Sun

 The singer was on the Lido Deck of his Mayercraft Carrier fan cruise. Well, it looks like things got a bit crazier when Mayer was given a Borat style one piece thong.   He looks cute!  

Towleroad

Perhaps the bold move came as an attempt to relive her partying heyday as she was joined by ex-husband Mick Jagger and ex-fiance Bryan Ferry. The cozy threesome spent the evening at London’s hotspot Nobu Berkeley at a private party. Must have seemed like old times.

Daily Mail  

Video reveals that his life had spun out of control in a lethal fog of booze and coke. The pictures are from the video showing a spaced out Heath twitching and fidgeting as the deadly white powder takes a grip on his body.

News of the World

This is such a hoot! Matt Damon can really sing and dance. He’s just not another good looking stud actor. Take a look at this video and enjoy. Was seen originally on The Jimmy Kimmel show.  It’s terrific. 

You Tube

Please respect our need to grieve privately. My heart is broken. I am the mother of the most tender hearted, high spirited, beautiful little girl who is the spitting image of her father. All that I can cling to is his presence inside her that reveals itself every day. His family and I watch Matilda as she whispers to trees, hugs animals and takes steps two at a time and we know that he is with us still. She will be brought up with the best memories of him.”

 Daily Telegraph

Doctors at UCLA Medical Center will stabilize her and evaluate her condition before she can be administered new medication to treat her suspected bipolar condition. Detoxification is necessary for doctors to rid the patient’s system so that they can be properly diagnosed and prescribed a course of treatment. She supposedly takes 10 laxatives a day and a stimulant Adderall used to treat Attention Deficit Disorder.

Daily Telegraph

Britney, 26, was rushed to a mental ward when she “went psychotic” and hurled obscenities after taking a cocktail of drugs over 3 sleepless nights. She reportedly flew into a “frightening manic phase” and threatened her mother and pals who begged her to get help. 

The Sun